Jamester120, Ex-Staff

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Jamester120, Jul 7, 2017.

  1. Jamester120

    Jamester120 Member

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    Roughly 28 Hours, 10 Minutes, I was demoted from being staff, Originally promoted on Saturday April 15, 2017 at 1:37 PM

    I'm not here to complain, or yell, or be angry, Just to simply tell how my experience was, Personal and Server Wise Life..

    Lets start of how I'm 14, Gaining staff at 13, Ever since I was 8 I developed Severe trust issues, not of family issues or anything, but would rather not discuss how, Through time I have had Social Anxiety and not to say this is because of it at all, I have always been royally.. Yeah.. Lets start.. I am an attention freak, and a control freak, I want everything to be my way and be above others because if not I will fall below and be harassed for falling from such a "prideful" area.. As a child I was bullied, still confident, I have always been intelligent, I guess. I built up a tower that I was equal or greater then people, I don't discuss feelings or when I do its accompanied by a "XD" so people think its all a big joke, such as myself. Building up to staff was amazing, Mainly through befriending Minyoondini, a In-game Moderator, Whom I met on Survival 1.0 on Royal Legacy, I was generous and helped out We were short staffed and Min pushed for my App. to be accepted, and it was amazing being accepted, I was eager to rise and not be taken for granted, I lost motivation, Became lost, died a bit, and became unruly and depressed, lashing out and making mistakes left and right, mainly due to other staff whom I shall not mention, Bringing me down.. Because I let them in.. Not Min btw <3, I don't deserve Min or anyone else. I felt worthless, garbage, f*cking annoying, Or so how they put it.. I vc'd with them and then the ad came, and it all ended, I felt I was being a burden and being the trash one called me, Min assured me I was fine, but those Trust issues made me think everyone was always against me, so I had to be in power. I became know as "the most savage staff there is lol" to a few, Not really wanting to be a dictator it hurt.. that people were opposed to engage me in anyway. When "WoahWotsDis" became Staff.. I tried to train her, and was told by Higher staff that I was insufficient and told her the same thing, that she shouldn't trust me, and I made a shiz nit load of mistakes, My act of redemption was shot down, and was isolated, I wanted to be invisible, gone, demoted, but I simply loved the server too much but didn't want to be a burden

    ... I have failed... Inobel.. Said "Do a good job and take care of everyone for me :D"
    and I failed, I accepted it and became a absolute mess who hid most of it.

    I'm Sorry, I don't deserve Min, Truly, Or some others
    and I'm sorry for being a burden, I would rather not interfere

    I'm Sorry King

    All I wanted was appreciation, and didn't get enough to satisfy my sick self, and I just wanted recognition, not always being questioned or no one backing my judgement, I'm sorry, I don't deserve any of you, I can't leave, But I wont try to act like I deserve to be here either,

    I'm So Sorry :(
     
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    Last edited: Jul 7, 2017
  2. Bee02

    Bee02 New Member

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    A lot of people were just trying to make you fall and they apparently did because they hated your guts. Sorry dude. I won't deny you were harsh but some of those guys deserved it. I saw people always pushing you, and trying to get you to quit. Mistakes were made, and damage was done, but best is to move on. That's why I don't like being staff. Too many headaches to handle and I guess I respect the ones that can endure being staff. I was once a staff and I hated it. Be safe man. <3
     
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  3. Jamester120

    Jamester120 Member

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    Less safe more falling deeper and deeper into the pit of insanity <3 ;);-;
     
  4. Johnc

    Johnc New Member

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    Hey, i'm sorry for hearing that you got demoted. I hope you still have fun on the server.
    Don't let other people bring you down okkay? and goodluck with everything :) life is still young their are many things to happend just bear with them and become the person that you want to be!
     
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  5. Inobel

    Inobel Member

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    It's alright, personally no one is able to be staff forever.. The pressure gets to you soon enough ❤ take a break, relax, and make your decision whether to move on or not when you're not confused anymore. I'll be here for you :)
     
  6. Sintacks

    Sintacks New Member

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    tl;dr
     
  7. __ara2005__

    __ara2005__ New Member

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    Hey James sorry to hear you got demoted I know we had our ups and downs and you didnt really like me but before we use to be rlly good friends and i Hope now that you realize some stuff with your self we can be friends once more
     
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  8. bender1516

    bender1516 New Member

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    To be honest i'm glad you got demoted it was about time, i know everyone hated you but i don't know why though. i also saw the signs that you put in your house saying negative things towards yourself and i'll say this, don't be negative towards yourself it does not help, my friend tech did that when we were friends before he left but he took it to far and i think you have to. it's seems like you lost the plot with those signs to be honest. i always didn't like you very much but i did try to be friends with you at one point. but there was something about you that i just never liked so it didn't work out. what do i think about you right now? honestly i see you as someone new on the server, i don't hate you and i don't like you. but i'll end i here so all i can stay is don't be negative just stay positive. and good luck with your future. :)
     
  9. DestroyedEpisode

    DestroyedEpisode Member

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    next time you know to not drop into the holes!
     
  10. Zen

    Zen New Member

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    JameStar the Memestar.. We miss you here in Prison
     
  11. Salty

    Salty New Member

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    Jamester, it get's better. From what I'm reading, you think very negatively of yourself. I know of a friend right now who's doing the same. Let someone in. We can help if you allow us to. I'm always here for you, be it if I have to kill a chicken (did that) to get to the computer to offer you solace. It gets better.
     

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